CIALOWAS oneshots
by TheCreativeCasseroles
Summary: Oneshots meant for the universe of the fanfic Castaway in a Land of Wind and Shade by Terra Saltt on .
1. Slime

Summary: The recruits find out why human aliens should never touch the slime.

* * *

When Karkat made it to the void with Gamzee and John, he never thought on how the human is going to sleep. The only true things to sleep in was recoopacoons. There was no "beds" whatsoever within the ship that held the third rebellion. No one knew what soper slime would do to a human so no one tried to make John sleep in it. They gave him cushions instead.

Of fucking course, him being the dumbass he was, John just had to touch it.

Karkat shudders at the memory. Ever since then it was a rule to never ever have John touch some of the slime. Not even the smallest portion.

Karkat made it very clear to the recruits that there will be consequences if John got into contact with the slime.

The troll needed his friendleader to be in the best shape he could be. The rebellion needed two leaders after all. (There's no way Karkat can lead the rebellion all on his own. That's why he felt some sort of relief when John asked to help.)

Now since the rebellion gained more recruits, the main twelve trolls, and John, have been training with them in groups and they switch groups every other day.

It was actually interesting to see John teach the recruits his human training.

Actually it was amusing.

Sometimes groups would come together to do a mix training section, and now John's and Karkat's groups were training together.

Except John noticed that one of his soldiers was missing.

"Let's give him a moment," he said.

"Might as well let the recrutes wake up a little more while we wait," he said.

Karkat nearly blew a gasket when he found out the missing troll overslept.

 _"WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA THAT SLEEPING IN WAS A GOOD THING? WHAT IF WE WERE ATTACKED? YOU COULD DIE NOOKSNIFFER!"_ To be honest, Karkat wasn't being as harsh as he could be.

"Oh, calm down. It was just this one time," John then turned to the scared rust blood, noticing his ruffled state, "but you shouldn't really do that." The human put his hand on the troll's shoulder in a calming manner, only to slump onto the ground the moment his hand touched the shoulder.

The trolls began to freak the fuck out.

The rust blood thought he killed one of his leaders.

Karkat was just pissed as he noticed a green substance on the rust blood.

And this is why the information in the beginning was so important.

 _"OH JUST GREAT. NOT ONLY DID YOU SLEEP IN LATE, BUT YOU DIDN'T CLEAN UP PROPERLY,"_ Karkat growled at his subordinate, _"LISTEN TO ME YOU WIGGLERS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU, YOU GET AWAY AND **FAST** ,"_ Karkat ordered.

Confused stares answered him. Thankfully, there were a few that heed his warning.

The remaining leader just muttered to himself about the stupidity of his subordinates as he made his way to the knocked out human.

Only to get interrupted by said human who just woke up.

Everyone stared at the other leader, waiting for him to do something.

"Whyiseveryonelookingatmelikethat? Wegotsometrainingtodo!" John exclaimed rapidly, jumping up. All trolls, except Karkat, lept back.

What the fuck just happened?!

"Comeonelet'sgogogogo!" John then began to do various physical activities such as: cartwheeling, jumping jacks, running around in circles, flipping over the trolls, somersaulting through the troll's legs, doing push ups, etc.

Really, the trolls, other than Karkat, were in awe.

"Hahamaybeweshouldusepranksasawaytofight! Thatwouldbetotallyfunny! Theywillneverexpectit!" He laughed at the numerous reactions, that was, until he dropped down to the ground once more.

Ok, thought the trolls, their co leader is most definitely dead now.

Shit.

Karkat sighed, and threw John over his shoulder.

 _"TODAY IS A FUCKING FREE DAY NOW. DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU'RE TRAINING. I HAVE TO GET THIS BULGEWIPE SOMETHING TO HELP HIS 'HEADACHE' FOR WHEN HE WAKES UP,"_ he then glared at the troll who was late, _"LET THIS BE AN EXAMPLE ON **WHY** YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP IN, AND **WHY** JOHN SHOULD NEVER TOUCH SOPER SLIME. EVEN THE SMALLEST AMOUNT."_

Then, to himself, Karkat muttered, _"YOU WEREN'T HERE WHEN HE HAD HIS WHOLE HAND IN THE SLIME."_

But the soldiers heard him and all of their blood drained from their faces.

No one wants to deal with a human who came into contact with slime from that moment onward.

But it did make a good story to frighten the newbies with of how their alien leader acted and how he was a complete grouch for a few hours afterwards.

(It was too funny to see the newbies faces twist into horror. And then see them get so confused when they finally get to meet John.)

Extra:

"Ugh I feel like my dad had a bake off inside my room while I was in it," John groaned from his position on the floor.

 _"Aw Jo)(n. )(ow can t)(at be bad?"_ Feferi asked him from the meeting table.

 _"APPARENTLY HIS LUSSIUS/ANCESTOR CONSTANTLY MADE THE SUGARY BAKED GOODS AND MADE JOHN COME TO HATE THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT."_

 _"W)(ale t)(at isn't good at all!"_

"Can't I just have some diluted slime instead? Maybe that'll make me not feel like shit," John suddenly asked out of nowhere.

.

.

.

 _"huh. never thought of that,"_ Sollux put his hand to his chin, _"iit miight work."_

Karkat X2 face palmed.


	2. PipeorgankindThe Message

Summary: A message is found.

 **I suggest listening to Pipeorgankind while reading this.**

* * *

The screen turned on to show a young man who seems to be somewhere in his twenties. He had bright blue eyes that were contained by black framed glasses. They sat upon his pale face. The reason why the man's skin was so pale was because he was barely in the sun.

Being in space most of the time will do that to you.

He showed off his buck teeth with a grin as he moved his hand through his messy ebony hair. The guy looked like the definition of a dork.

"Oh good, it's on!" He exclaimed with joy.

"Ok so, my name is John Egbert and I'm alive! How cool is that!" The man's, John, grin grew wider.

"This message is going to be split into parts due to of what's going on, and to make this more exciting! It's like a secret message, and it kinda is!" His grin faltered for a moment, "This message is mostly for my dad, Jade, Rose, and Dave. Well, actually more like Jade, Rose, and Dave. It would be really cool if my dad was able to watch it. If someone else managed to intercepted it (which is unlikely), then I, uh, would like it if you would stop watching it. But it's totally ok if you don't!" He waved his hands, giving an awkward smile.

"Anyways, this is to let you know that I'm alive and doing well. I don't know when I'm coming back if at all. But! But, I'm going to do my best. It may not look like it, but I'm helping someone stop this war. It's just not a way you would expect." John stopped for a few moments, having looked like he was silently speaking to someone from behind the camera through his eyes. John nodded before moving behind him.

There, in all its glory, was a pipe organ.

"This is for you," he seemingly spoke to no one. With a grace that didn't seemed to be there before, John made his way and sat down on the magnificent musical instrument.

The pipes blew softly first. Gradually a tune was heard. A tune that the male's father would listen to thousands of times.

It then dissolved into a different tune. Soon, it was as if the two were switching.

Honestly it sounded like it would be played at

The song was magnificent as it grew louder as well as deeper. Slowly, it grew softer once more.

Then, towards the end it was as if John let out his frustrations and anger at his situation.

.

.

.

He had stopped. He played his song.

"I don't have a name for this. But, I like to think it means my time with my friends and family as well as my new friends. How we're struggling to survive, to win a war that seems never ending. But," John turned around from his bench and went back up to the camera, "what I do know is that what I'm doing is going to end this whole thing. I'm going to help set everyone free."

John's eyes shifted from the camera to something behind it.

"I will make sure that you will live in a universe where you are not hated just for being who you are and being alive."

A sharp intake of breath was heard, but it did not came from John.

The screen went dark.

.

.

.

"What just happened?" An albino asked aloud. He looked like the definition of cool due to his hair style and shades.

"That, my dear brother, was a message from John. He's alive," a blond haired girl who was standing next to the albino said. Her hair was short and was kept back by a purple headband.

"Oh my gosh! John's alive! My brother is alive!" Another girl, with long black hair and glasses, jumped with glee.

"Yes Jade, he's alive, but did you think that message was a bit odd?" The blond asked Jade.

"Yeah, no. Rose, can't you just celebrate the fact that my best bro is still kickin'?" The cool guy asked his sister, Rose.

All three were in a special room where they wouldn't be interrupted. Rose, Dave, and Jade were given the message in three parts. The beginning to Rose, middle to Dave, and the ending to Jade.

Rose had them meet up in the room in order for the three messages to become complete.

The blond had obviously noticed how strange this was and was watching closely for any clues.

She obviously found one.

Obviously.

"Sorry Dave, but you need to take a closer look," Rose then started the message again only to fast forward to near the end. She paused it at the moment John looked away from the camera. Then, she began to enhance the image to John's glasses.

Dave and Jade squinted at a grey blurb that was being reflected off of Egbert's glasses.

"...So?" Dave couldn't help but ask.

His sister didn't do anything but press a button that made the image clearer.

All three gasped at what was once a blob. Well, more like Jade gasped, Rose eyes widen, and Dave stiffened.

It was a troll.

All was quiet for what felt like an eternity before someone spoke.

"John, just what the fuck did you get yourself into?" Dave breathed in fear for his best friend.


End file.
